28 February 2006

cold winds roam manhattan

on sunday evening (feb 26) i come back from a little trip across the hudson river. back in midtown manhattan the cold hits me with full power. the winds are strong and brutally cold. one minute longer in the cold and i die, i think, before finally my cousin shows up in his car.

body count

already 20 cockroaches squeezed dead with my index finger. the mother still keeps hidden. she just sends out the little ones to distract me, i suppose. in the background she prepares the big attack...

22 February 2006


the midwest monster potato

comes with zucchinis. first fry zucchinis in a pan. cut cheese in slices and cover the vegetables. put the squash in the oven and fry for 15 minutes. if a smell of burnt food comes out of the oven, open it and have a look. discover that the cheese is not even melted and leave the ensemble for another ten minutes in the oven. open the oven again...

suddenly there is a terrible noise in the appartment that makes me almost deaf. i run around in panic. it's some kind of alarm. after a minute it dawns on me that it is the fire alarm. i run to the window and open it. the alarm is still on. i go looking where it comes from and finally discover the alarm box above the entrance door. i open the door. it stops. after a while i close the door and it goes off again. i run back to the door and open it again. it stops again. in order to break that loop i leave both the door and the window open.
i discover that i am running late for meeting with somebody. the monster potato was boiling for 40 min already. i run a fork test on it. well, it's still not ready but i gotta eat. i finally have my dinner under stress with the cheese not properly melted and the potato not well cooked.


death toll among roaches: 9

anti-cockroach bread bag

patent pending...

number of...

cockroaches killed: 7
the mother keeps hidden (probably giving bith to another 1,000 babies). i prepare myself mentally for the big attack...

sunday 19 feb

i go jogging along the hudson river heading towards south. as i run downtown i wonder about the coordinates of ground zero.

i run all the way down from the west village to battery park. in the park i find maps which lay out downtown incl. ground zero. i choose greenwich street to run back. soon the streets get more crowded. i approach the fenced off ground zero. almost no remnants of the catastrophe can be seen except for the big hole where the twin towers used to be.

sex toys in soho

on my tour through soho i get into a sex toy shop. the shop looks very much like pop culture. i see all kinds of penis shaped instruments: dildos made of glass, of hard rubber, and other ones made of very soft glibberish rubber. the soft penisses are not erect (and can not be erected). the sizes range form small to very big, the colour from a little too yellow to brown. i wonder what they are for?
most of the dildos now include butt plugs. quite a few of the plugs are bunny shaped with a pair of nice ears. one model comes even with a bunny face.

siegfried & roy

appear on tv. siegfried (roy?) has obviously ok recovered from his injuries which he suffered from a tiger attack (very probably: white tiger). he is all tanned, his hair is dyed suberblond, his eyebrows are black. same thing with his lifetime partner. the hair colour gives them kind of an unnatural appearance. roy (siegfried?) has still got that striking german accent (after living in the states forever).

getting obsessed with cockroaches

every time after having food i do the dishes. i go into detail when cleaning the kitchen board from breadcrumbs and poppyseeds. those bastards should not feast on the tiniest leftovers of my breakfast! as soon as i am finsihed with cleaning a hole catches my attention: the drain. there was sth about roaches liking water and coming out from waterpipes and drains...

a new flatmate:

a red spider in the bathtub. it tries to climb out of the tub, but always slides back. i watch it for a while. the next day it's gone.

peanut butter = drug

whenever i open a glass of peanut butter i can't stop eating. peanut butter has this compelling taste of slight sweet and sour...


one day after the big snowfall (sunday 12 feb) the snow starts to melt. new yorkers zigzag around piles of melting snow and big puddles on all street corners. after jumping around like a bunny i understand that i have to buy winter shoes. i do that.
they look stupid.
three days later the snow is gone. now it's sunshine every day.

17 February 2006

having a look at my sneakers

i went jogging today along the hudson river. as soon as i leave the house it starts to rain. i decide to go running anyway. on the hudson river it starts pouring and a very strong wind begins to blow. still worth it. like on sunday, in the snow, my feet get wet. back at home i have a closer look at my 5 to 7 years old sneakers. they look ok at first glance:


someone's gotta do sth about this...

insect precautions

in the meantime i have taken precautions against cockroach attacks. i have found a safe place where to store my bread: in a plastic bag on the coathanger. i hope the roaches won't build an airbridge like the americans did in postwar berlin.

16 February 2006


a bit self-referential...


coming home yesterday evening i see another insect on my fridge. i watch it, it seems to watch me in turn, its antennas radiating attentively. those bastards are smart. as i think of the rubber gloves which are stashed under the sink an idea comes to my mind: squash the bug! the rubber glove put on, my left hand approaches the bug. as my hand casts a shadow over the cockroach it immediately stops moving. we both keep still for a while. i wonder who is faster as my index finger gets down on the bug. yeah, got it! soon afterwards another bug appears. i kill it too. i am looking forward to meet their mother, although i will not squash it with my finger. it's already to big. gotta grab a hammer or sth...

15 February 2006

cockroach alarm

i come home in the evening and turn on the light. just in time to spot a 3 cm big cockroach! it's still winter and they are already here! speaking of them: other little insects crawling over the sink, probably cockroach babies...

14 February 2006

hund's weather report: nyc 12 feb 06

the only weather report that is always late!

with an artist friend from the ISCP i go to williamsburg to visit the PS1 museum. the snow is up to 50cm high. in the late afternoon i start to feel cold in my sneakers and i discover the following...

09 February 2006


i have packed my bags and i am ready to go,

well not really...